xxMakeupStain_Quotes's Xanga

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 00:47:20 GMT

Its been way too long.
i'm sorry.
well even though it was only november last time i updated, i've changed so much.
i'm not really liking the direction im going either. =/
still no boyfriend.
every guy that i've "talked" to just plays me & then leaves me.
i hate it so goddamn much!
well all you care about are some quotes...
so here you go!

I can't continue to pretend I didn't hear
the hesitation your words left behind.

I will never regret you or say that I wish I'd never met you, because once upon a time you were exactly what I needed.

And maybe it's true, I'm falling on you.
Maybe there's a chance that you're stuck on me too.
So maybe I'm wrong, it's all in my head;
maybe we're afraid of words we both haven't said
-jaysean, maybe.

If life was supposed to be easy I wouldn't be
sitting here trying to figure out ways to
get you to fall in love with me.

You don't have to be perfect to let somebody love you the way you wanted to be loved. Always remember that being simple is the most perfect way to make someone fall in love with you.

People say that love is blind, but I don't think so. I say that we ourselves are blind, by fooling ourselves into thinking that someone is the one, when it is quite obvious they're not. If it was meant to be, it would show right away.

You were that breath of fresh air in my life,
& maybe that's why I'm finding it so hard to breath now.

his kiss spoke of all the passion I had coursing through every one of my veins, & about how my heart, which was pounding so incredibly fast at the moment, was pounding for him. It spoke of my addiction to his touch, to his kisses, to the way he made me feel. And last, but not least, it spoke of how in love with him I was, which was so head over heels in love that there was no way I was ever going to fall out of it.

Hidden behind a camera,
taking a picture of the guy she was
supposed to be in the picture with </3

Best friends understand when you say "forget it,"
wait forever when you say "just a minute,"
stay when you say "leave me alone,"
& open the door before you can even say "come in."

We did not change as we grew older;
we just became more clearly ourselves.

one of my favorite songs...

I miss the way that we were so crazy about each other, two teenagers madly in love. Sometimes I wish I could tell you everything, make everything alright.

I know you still love me but there's something jaded about the way you look at me now. And there's something in our conversations that keeps us from saying everything that we'd like to. I don't know if it'll ever get that good again, and I'm afraid to let go of this. I'm afraid of starting something new, because what if it's never the same? what if you were the best one for me?

If I could meet you again for the first time, what would I say? Knowing you'd become my first love in the future and we'd date for almost two years and become glue and somewhere down the line...we didn't stick anymore...

There will come a day, when you lay your head on a guys chest and you realize that his heartbeat doesn't match yours. Our love was so strong that we felt each others love from being 3,000 miles away from each other.

I will love you until I can say no more...

You hung the stars in the sky, what makes you think that you can not love me again? I just wish for you to come back. To realize that you are happy with me. That we can be happy again. You may say you don't love me anymore but I know deep down you do.

If you just give me a call, if you just listen to what I have to say then maybe we can be together again. Maybe we could be that couple that nobody could stop the love coming from each others hearts. I find it impossible to get through to you but for some reason after a year I'm still fighting for it. Still fighting for that phone call from you.

To hear your voice on the other end. To know that I'm happy again. I just wish you knew how much I miss you. How much time I spend thinking about you. How much time I put in my day to think of things to do to get you back...

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 20:29:17 GMT

hii! i'm sorry its been a while.
): me & that guy broke up.
go figure. it always happens.
=/

Everything good in life is either
immoral, illegal or fattening.

From the first time I met you, I couldn't take my eyes off you. I'll admit that there was always something I missed. It didn't matter if you were sitting at the front, or at the back, or talking to the person beside you, or if you were just by yourself. I could always from a crowd immediately identify you, know your position, & know where you are. It seemed wherever you'd go, there'd be light. But I kept thinking; if I didn't say it, then the next time we met there could be no more chances. There have been many times I gave up opportunities to profess to you. That time I told myself; No matter what, I'm not letting you go.

When your heart breaks, it never fully heals.
It's merely just stitched & patched back up again,
leaving scars that stay with us forever.

I do not want to think about you walking towards me or taking me to places I have never been. I do not want to think about you at night, when no one is thinking of me. I do not want to love you, so I am giving you to the other girls; they can have you & the sun that smiles down on you, they can have you & the sky that opens for you, they can have you & they can keep you.

They say follow your heart,
but when your heart is in so many pieces,
which way are you to follow?

here are two things in this life that makes me cry.
The first is death, because it's a lost life;
the second is love, because it never wanted me.

The way you make me laugh, the sound of my name on your lips. My heart skips a beat & my mind races. I can feel your every touch & taste your every kiss. When you look at me I feel so beautiful, but then I open my eyes & realize you were just a dream. Now I'm back to reality without you.

I've never been in love, so I guess I don't know the happiness of love. I've never been nor am I now. I'm kind of afraid to step that deep into something, because I'm just tired of giving everything I've got. But it's hard, when you know that you could be giving more, but you're just giving what you want to give. Not because you're receiving less, but just because, just simply because, you're afraid to admit to yourself that you would give that person your whole world. And you're just afraid that your whole world or your everything just might not be enough. You just don't want to end up empty handed & admit to yourself that you wanted to give them everything.

Nothing is more disgusting than a boy
who lies & hurts a girl just to prove he's a man.

Everyone in their life will eventually say that love stinks. But for some reason no matter how strong the smell, people always end up following the same pungent odor of love <3

For those who have grown with me or watch me grow up, I have always been the same girl. More mature, maybe, more wise, but my core has stayed the same. The funky spunk in my step is still there like it was from my childhood years. My outright bluntness from my first sentence in meeting someone. Last, the choice to be different. Yeah, sometimes I think to myself, maybe I should be like you all out there, start dying my hair, waking up to straighten it, pounds of makeup, looking sexy 24/7. But nah, I'll stick to what I've got. Yes, you super hot girls make me feel pretty plain Jane sometimes, but for those who are understanding me right now;
I'm better than you.
Because under all that makeup, who's gonna want to look at you now? Now that everyone is so used to seeing you glammed up like a doll? Do you have as much as ambition & drive as I do under all that makeup?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 17:21:31 GMT

so its been about 2 months.

i'm sorry. ):

but here is an update for all the people who care.

iloveyou!

I sit & laugh with friends at what we've all been through
But I still catch my breath when someone mentions you.
We move on, put those dreams away
Hoping that we'll find them come some rainy day.
How could I know that everything would change?
Except the way I miss you.

Some people don't understand that your friends aren't just your friends
They're your family
That you pick yourself.
They will love you, hurt you, scare you, help you
To make the person you were meant to be.
But the people that you share your secrets with and actually trust them to keep them
Is a completely different story.
They're more than family, they're your other half.

Because I need something more
I know you all have your messy love lives
And your secrets and your silliness,
But I want more.
I need something to hold onto.

This is for the girls who have been used
Who have enured what he was giving becase at least he was giving something
This is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing we have ever wanted.
This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more.

take me out tonight, where there's music,
and there's people, and they're young and alive.
driving in your car, i never want to go home
because i haven't got one anymore.

I think secretly

She’s has the world wrapped ‘round her finger

And she’s yo-yoing it up and down on a string.

she’s got the whole wide world fooled,

her smiles’ such a beautiful thing.

She seems like she knows all earth’s secrets.

And you want to know too.

You blindly chase her tinkling laughter

But capturing her whole hearts impossible to do.

She makes you so high

You’re dancing on clouds

So when you finally fall

You feel like you’ll drown.

But maybe you’ll be better off.

When you escape her intoxicating spell

She’s just a beautiful letdown

A blessing from hell.

there's someone in her past that she hasn't
gotten over yet. each day is like the last &
she misses what she can't forget. it's just
and empty space where something used to
be. now she guards the gate, but she's lost
the key. so no one enters, but no one leaves.

let's talk about love.

it's a complicated subject.

something no one from the age of broken hearts and tears

to old brittle couples you see walking down the street

grasp the true meaning of it.

all these songs comparing love to something that's not even in the same range.

Nobody can understand someone's love for another

because half the time they can't even understand it themselves.

the only love you truly know

is the love you have for another.

my new favourite place in all the world
is buried in your white sheets, tangled up in you
and my new favourite word is my own name
rolling off your lips at a whisper
and when i'm with you it all just melts away
it's all okay

Remember when we'd stay up late
and we'd talk all night in a dark room lit by the TV light.
Through all the hard times in my life,
those nights kept me alive.

I refuse to answer the phone.
I'm afraid that when I start talking,
My words will get the better of me.
We'll get back together,
And you'll make the worst of me.
And as I'm thinking no I can hear my mouth saying yes.
Yes, I'll be ~~anything~~ for you because I'm nothing without you.

People are always telling me to smile, like smiling is going to just take away all the hurt and pain.
Well I've tried that I've tried hiding my sorrows and covering the sadness in smiles
And what I've learned is that when it hurts this much inside your heart always has a way of showing it
No matter how many masks you wear.

me & my boyfriend

I went home at night and cried for hours because so many people in my life expecting me to be a certain way was too much pressure, as if I'd been held against a wall and interrogated for hours, asked questions I couldn't quite answer any longer.

<<thats me & tarah.

Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go

They didn't know that she was planning something.
Most people thought she was perfectly fine.
She was good at pretending...but some people knew she wasn't okay but they didnt realize how bad it was.
She would party every weekend.
She was border line alcoholic rarely going 48 hours without being 100% sober.
She tried finding comfort in anything even if that ment fucking some guy she just met one night while she had been drinking.
Everyday was going by as a blur.
They didn't know that she cried herself to sleep every night.
They didnt know that she had practiced cutting herself so many times.
They didnt know that she had written and rewritten letters to all the people she cared about most telling them she loved them and apologizing.
She even wrote one to the person who was most important to her, who wouldn't understand what had happened because she was to young.
She wanted her to know it wasn't her fault and she loved her dearly.
They just didnt know.
They found her surrounded in her own blood.
They finally knew, they finally realized that she really wasn't okay.
And the rumors, and the fake friends, and the guys who liked her for all the wrong reasons,
And the family, and the lies, and the unperfect body that she saw that everyone else thought was close to perfect, had gotten to her.
She finally had the courage to press down hard enough...
And they finally knew that she planned this.

you know that feeling when everything
seems so perfect one moment & so fucked
up another? you know that feeling when you
think everything's going to be alright because
just maybe fate will be on your side, but instead
it just screws up the very next? i gave up my
entire life, just hoping you'd realize how much
i love you, but i guess perfect moments don't
last very long & nothing's going to be alright
because fate will never be on my fucking side.

people are always talking about how
hard it is to find a good man , but nowadays
it's hard to even find a good person. it's so
hard to just even find a person to talk to, someone
who will just listen and not judge, someone
who will just take you as you are.

the last 7 pictures were of me, me & my boyfriend, or me & tarah.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 20:39:17 GMT

damn.

its been such a long time since i've updated.

i've got a job now so i'm SUPER busy and that "great guy" i had met, well he cheated on me 4 fucking times.

so whatever. when i get home tonight i'll put a BUNCH of pictures & quotes up.

woo! :)

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 17:54:10 GMT

i've met a great guy.

i'm actually happy for a change!

When we first met, I didn't want to get involved with anyone. I didn't have the time or energy & I wasn't sure that I was ready for it. But you were so good to me & I got swept up in that & little by little I found myself falling in love with you.

Darling, I would hate to ruin this because
we both know that it's almost flawless.
But those beautiful nights don't last forever
& a beautiful world will never exist.

I'm afraid of being alone forever,
dreams not being fulfilled,
having something tragic happen,
losing someone close to me,
or just losing the sense of being alive altogether.

Self-injury is a sign of distress, not madness.
We should be congratulated on
having found a way of surviving.

And then he hits you with that one last promise & you want it to be the truth so bad. You're looking in his eyes & you're crying, saying, "He's not lying." But you know he is.

It's been exactly a year. I mean it when I say you brought the happiest days of my life. So much has happened since then & we've both moved on, but still; I'll remember to love because you taught me how.

I realize that overall, you weren't really worth it. There were moments with you that made me really happy, but majority of the time you just shut me out. That's why this summer I'll try to get over you. We might've had something really great, but I guess we'll never know. I'll never forget the good times with you, but I'll also never forget how you hurt me more than any other boy.

The more you show your feelings,
the more people can find ways to hurt you.

It's funny how nowadays, us kids only think about looking cool, being popular & getting money. We're all smoking, drinking, popping, jacking, smashing, cussing, skipping, fucking. What's that going to benefit us with? All it's going to do is affect your future, & we all know that, but we still don't care. We're all trying look cool, dying our hair, wearing makeup, dressing like a slut, going out late, losing parent's respect. And after, we all say, "Fuck family" or whatever, but without family, you have nothing. Who brought you up? Who put a roof over your head? Who gave you food to live on? And how do we repay them? We go out, we ask for money, we don't bring home awards but the police. I have to admit, it's fun, but realistically it's a waste of time. We all have to wake up. The most important thing right now is not money or the opposite sex; it's school. You all can hate on this & it's debateable, but it's true.

The way I feel for you, I can't describe.
It's almost too intense to verbalize;
essentially you're all I'm living for.

You got a dream, you gotta protect it.
People can't do something themselves,
they wanna tell you that you can't do it.
You want something? Go get it.

Life without love is like
a tree without any leaves.

Someone asked me where I thought
heaven was, so I pointed to you
& said, "In his arms." <3

After awhile you start to get sick of a lot of things. You start to close yourself off from the world; you start to shun everyone out of your life. You just want to be left alone & you start to believe that the world really does hate you & no one really cares about you, & the only person you can really depend on is yourself. But really, you need to face the fact that this is reality. You can't automatically change what you want life to be. Life's just life. It just happens. Whatever happens, tends to happen for a reason. You can't exactly make life into something really happy, like it's some kind of switch, you know? There's no switch, no On or Off button. You just gotta be a good girl & suck it up. If friends backstab you, it's okay, you'll meet new & better people, share new things, & probably gain some & lose some, as they say. In life, of course you're going to get your heart broken more then once, but it's okay because in each relationship you've had you've learned different things from your partner. They either taught you, helped you, or made you into a better person. Each relationship you're in, you can fix the mistakes you had in the past relationships; you get a second chance. You'll meet many people who will inspire you, inspire you to be a better person, but in the end, it all adds up. Are you willing to put all the tears, all the pain, all the hurt aside, & live life? Make life as something really special, make it like it was your last day, never worry about tomorrow; worry about today. Never let words get to you; words are cheap. Actions speak a lot louder, you hear me?

So she tosses her hair & fakes
yet another movie star smile,
because where she comes from,
every day is a photo shoot.

She took a deep breath, willing her voice not to break, "I know you're holding something back, & if you can't, or don't, want to talk about it, there's not much I can do. But whatever it is, it's driving you away."

You can hide a lot about yourself.
You can hide embarrassment,
you can hide anger,
& you can even hide shame,
but you can't hide a smile (=

Friday, June 22, 2007

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 03:27:24 GMT

empty.

Some people just need a little help;
some just need to be forgiven.

You sit there as a child, staring at everyone older than you in love. You think, "Wow, I hope I fall in love one day when I'm older." As you go into your teenage years, you're told, "You're way too young to know what love is." Then as you go along with your life, he comes in out of nowhere & it's never going to to be the same ever again. You've never been more happier you're whole life & you're thankful for that. You think, "Whoever said we're too young to love can go screw themselves." because you have this incredible feeling & you know its real love, & if it isn't love that you're in, it just might be the best time of your life waiting to be loved, whatever that is.

Every time she kisses you, I get a little sicker.

I look into your eyes & I'm wondering, is this what love's suppose to feel like? Heart skipping a beat, knees trembling, mind racing, hands wanting to feel your perfect skin, lips needing your kisses, & soul desiring the warmth of your love upon mine? Is that was love is like? I see you & I know that sometimes there was a reason for everything that has happened to me. Every single experience was leading up to you. I've learned not to trust many people & not to let people into my life, but for you I've made an exception. You were the one person who I gave up everything for. I let my guard down & let your love engulf me & the feeling is incredible. I have never been so in love in my life. You are my soulmate, prince, lover & all of the above. I look into your eyes & I see our souls entwined in an eternal love.

Hold a mirror to show just what
you've become & read your diary
to figure out where things went wrong.

For the first time in my life I'm finally at this point where everything is balanced. I have best friends, I have an amazing family, & I have this guy. He's not my boyfriend, but he's not a friend either. He's like one of those people; you know, those people who are always there even after everything you did. That person who you know you love & always will. I have him, my best friends, & my family. They're the people who, if they weren't in my life, I don't think I'd be who I am today. I don't think I would say "I love you" & mean like I do now, because after everything, I have learned it is what love really is, what friendship is, & how life works.

I just don't understand why my happiness
always lies in the palm of your hands.

deserve the right kind of love. The kind of love that makes me happy. The fantastic love that's in books & movies. Even if we aren't together forever, I want to look back & never regret having fallen in love with you. That's the kind of love I think we all deserve.

I've got a mind boggling, sense numbing,
heart pounding, stomach flipping,
take-my-breath-away, head-over-heels,
knee shaking, daydreaming,
butterfly fluttering crush on you.

I'm shaking at the thought that
you're everything I want.

It's been months since we've actually had a real conversation. It's been months since you last called. It's been months since I've seen your face. What we had seems like it's been forgotten & replaced. It seem like it was a one time deal, like I only had one chance with you, & that one chance has been screwed up. I didn't mean to. I let you go, I'll admit that, but I thought you'd care enough to come back. You always made me smile, but a smile isn't forever. But now it's too late, & I've moved on.

Your eyes paralyze my gaze
as you look at me, so plain.
You thought I'd stay forever,
but I know this can't be the same.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 17:13:37 GMT

i wish people would comment me more...

I'll take the best of your bad moods
and dress them up to make a better you,
'cause all the company calls amount to one paycheck.

My stomach hurts because people
keep feeding me bullshit & I'm gonna
throw it all up in their faces.

Sometimes you have to test someone. Not because you don't trust them, but to see how much they'll sacrifice for you. And sometimes you have to let them go; not because you suddenly stopped loving them, but to see if they love you enough to come back.

When I got tired of running from you,
I stopped right there to catch my breath.
There your words they caught my ears.
You said, "I miss you, darling, come home."

Sometimes you just have to stop caring. You have to turn off all emotion & feeling, to protect yourself from getting hurt. You have to stop caring what other people think of you & be yourself. Sometimes you have to hide it all, not let anyone know how you feel or what you think. You gotta put a smile on & pretend everything is fine, even when it's not. Sometimes that's the only way to save yourself from a broken heart.

Prove that you are who you
always thought you were,
not who they said you had to be.

You don't know about real loss because
it only occurs when you've loved
something more than you love yourself,
& I doubt you've ever dared to
love anybody that much.

What you must discover is who you are beneath all these labels. To do this, you have to discover what the perceiving principle of these labels is. As you can perceive & conceive of these labels, you have to be separate to them. You cannot be a label. You cannot be a bunch of ever-changing concepts. This is simple logic. So, find out who you are not, & there you will have the answer to who you really are.

Love is not about finding the right person;
but creating a right relationship.
It's not about how much love
you have in the beginning;
but how much love you have in the end.

I loved you from the moment I saw you.
To love this much is beautiful, & wonderful,
& painful, and the scariest thing in the world,
all at the same time <3

Perhaps, if I said no, would you keep chasing me until I stopped running? Or would you stop because those words only meant an end? Maybe you were tired. Maybe that's why you stopped. Or maybe it's because you weren't true to your feelings. Those promises you made me & that 4 letter word that made all the problems disappear. But after all, they were just words. I was just foolish enough to trip over them while I was running away.

And he says that he didn't plan
to fall in love with her, but maybe love
isn't something you can plan.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 20:13:39 GMT

Hey.

i regret too much.

I dont ever wanna see you again.
This is the end.
Out of the house, she grabs the keys
Runs for the hills && doesn't leave a letter
That way the impact will be much better

Dont be so scared, we will not lead
you on like you've been doing for weeks.
So your selfish, and I'm sorry.
When I'm gone you will be going no where fast.

Would you believe me if I said i didn't need you
Cause i wouldn't believe you if you said that shit to me.

You're a chance taker, heartbreaker
Got me wrapped around your finger

And shes sleeping on the sofa, laying in her sunday best.
And she's turning over friday, i could swear im sleeping less and less.

And I think about you all the time.
I wonder you what you're doing
I wonder why you never cry.

I don't know we came from.
I don't know where were going.
All i know, wont you take me away.

I held on longer then i should.
but leaving you might change your mind.

Thinking about everything little thing we ever did crazy
Sipping on that memory lane.

See this isnt were my head is,
if you knew me im not like this.

I'm up for anything these days
I'm up for jumping into neighbors yards and swimming in there pool
I'm up for kidnapping my friends and taking them to the beach
I'm up for taking pictures at the zoo and watching old people kiss.
I'm up for letting myself fall in love with you.

How far do i have to go to make you understand i want to make this work so much it hurts.

once you get everything straightened out and
you begin to enjoy life, something happens.
it happens because there has to be some kind
of event that hits you in the face and makes you
realize it's not all gonna come easy. you have
to work at love and dry your tears. friends will
come and go. and guess what? there will be
others. not every relationship will be enchanting
and perfect and if it's meant to be it will always
find its way <3

i remember you laughing and leaving.
slamming the door to the sound of my
screaming. don't leave just yet. i didn't
mean any of what i just said. i swear that
we're better than this. you're much more
to me than words in a notebook. you sigh
and say,"im through." well god damn you
for breathing. i love you </3

it's amazing.. some people, they just say these small things.
one sentence and it changes the way you feel about them in an instant.
small words that can hurt you so much or make you fall deeply in love forever.
it changes everything, and nothing between you two is ever really the same again.
even if they don't know it, it still happens.

Open up and hold me slowly feel my body becoming one and only. Death is just an excuse to forget ~~you~~. Now we run from ourselves. Hope lies not in the mirror...

You call me in the middle of the night
So drunk you're ready to pass out
Tellin' me you had a great time
Except for that hour you blacked out
Now you're surprised that I'm pissed
you think I'm acting all tough
Well I think you're acting like a bitch
And I swear this time I've had enough

Your fingers are star-crossed lovers that can't seem to get enough of each other.This pantomime dialect doesn't practice what you preach.

i'm haunted by what I've seen
reminded of what it means
to take each moment like it's my last
so is it peace
that we're all looking for
will we find it
what I saw on the news today
left images I can't escape
what I saw was a world that's lost its reason to live

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Sun, 27 May 2007 17:33:39 GMT

ahh i wanna go to another show tonight!!!!!!

May 27th: Doors Open At 6:30, Show Starts At 7:00
Cost: $10
Underminded
I Am The Ocean
At This Moment

i can't wait till thursday night.

i'm gonna see the handshake murderers!!!! :D

I have no place in my heart for a boy like you.
I shouldn't be dwelling over all of your words.
Or overanalyzing your final goodbye.
I shouldn't wonder if you are hurt too.

Sometimes I wonder if you ever think of us.
And what happened between us.
Or, really, what never happened between us.
I wonder if you even care.

I wish I could make things like they used to be,
except you wouldn`t have so much control over me
& I wouldn`t be so head over heels.

Remember when we talked about
where we`d be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand
like you`d never let it go?
Remember, cause that`s all you can do.
We`ll never make another memory.

I have no idea where to start on getting over you. You have been the only one on my mind for longer than I can remember. They're right, what's so special about you? You only care about you're precious dope. I wish I never met you so I didn't know how great I thought you were. But then again you got me through a lot of bad times. You've made me feel special and wanted, but also miserable and unwanted. Why do you think I need you forever?

i know you don't want change
but nothing is ever what it used to be.
grab the rope, hoist yourself up
with a copy in hand.

so i say thank you for the scars, and the
guilt and the pain. every tear i've ever
cried has sealed your fucking fate.

scenes of passion never lasted. your
mistakes are too much to put behind.
i am tired with no desire to put together
things that just fall apart.

from the lack of sleep and bloodshot eyes to the
nervous kiss and the butterflies. does this make
any sense at all? she said, she said, "we're not
sleeping, and i'm not breathing. if this means
anything at all, i won't let you leave me anymore."

i hope the worst isn't over. i hope you blink
before i do. and i hope i never get sober and
i hope when you think of me, years down the
road, you can't think of one good thing to say.
and i hope that if i found the strength to walk
out, you'd stay the hell out of my way.

and you won't make a sound or be nervous around
piles of pictures, so old that it feels like it is ending.
it's not too late now to change your mind. the grass
gets greener when you get to the finish line.

i remember sitting and eyeing your
tiny smirks. and that was the last time
i can remember feeling something.

"i'm an outsider by choice" she said.
"but i'm hoping that won't be my choice
forever. i've always liked the time before
dawn because there's no one around to
remind me of who i'm supposed to be.
so it's easier to remember who i am."

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Thu, 24 May 2007 01:01:01 GMT

hi.

so uhh this update is only going to be this picture below.

its one of my friends, terah.

tell me if you like it.

www.myspace.com/quickheartbeat

add me :]